*No Pop - Day 69*

Remeber this post where I said I wanted to quit drinking pop??  Well, here I am 69 days later.  You'd think I'd have quit by now... nope.  BUT, I have considerably decreased the amount I drink.  I will have maybe one can every couple of days instead of one a day.  Sometimes I will even go a week without drinking any.  I need to start drinking more water, I have been substituting my pop for juice which is better... but not good enough!  Now, if I could just quit pop and substitute water for juice than I will be good!

*Bold*

So, I stole this from a friends blog... I kinda liked the idea!

Bold the ones you have done and post it on your blog too!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower (With Joey, my 1st time at the ranch)
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (St. Judes and the ASPCA)
7. Been to Disney World and/or Land (In Paris) 
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm (The storms out East are awesome, the ones in Rich County are pretty amazing too)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (Want to)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France (Right mom? Can't remember)
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (Guilty)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Ran a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (Want to!)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (We may not have any money, but I am satisfied)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person (Ate Pina Coladas in a cafe right next to it!)
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David (Have the best picture of Christi next to it haha)
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt (Only like 50 times, and yes... It is faithful)
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater (And did what during? Make out... yup!)
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching (not specifically whale watching but we were on a boat and told to watch for them, and saw them)
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (I can't because I lived in the UK during "Mad Cow Disease", but I let nursing students practice stabbing me haha)
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London (Possibly?)
77. Broken a bone (Knock on wood! I've dislocated 12 parts of my body though, jeez)
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle (I swear my ex owned every kind of motorized bike known to man)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve (Ha... yes momma, I did)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (Don't recall, honestly don't care)
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo (Not a fan myself)
94. Had a baby (Someday! Not anytime soon though haha)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone (ummm... duh)
99. Been stung by a bee (Only once when I was 7, remember every bit of it!)

*Got The Babies Out In Time*

Wow, talk about a thankful month. Lots of family and friends have been loosing calves to this horrible weather we've been having. A family even lost TEN, 8 in that nasty blizzard last week and 2 afterwards. We were able to ship our calvies and get them on their way (THANKFULLY) the weekend before the storm. We ended up, unfortunately, loosing one of our small calves we had to keep because she was too little to sell just then. But, only one compared to what we could have lost was totally okay with us! We haven't lost any replacement heifers. They are all beautiful and doing great, and they are even weaned! Ahh, if only it were always like this. AND, to top it off we got a call from someone at the base of the mountains where we run half the herd in the summer that two pair showed up at their place and to come and get them. Ended up being two HUGE steer and their mommies. Perfect! I like to see Joe & his dad puff out their chests and be happy every once in a while. Joey loves every second of this life.  Sometimes, I'm sad to admit, I just need a month like this one to boost my faith on this livelihood. Now we have a breather before we ship half the cows out to our winter range and a while before the new babies start to arrive this winter!

*X-Mas Pictures*

We got some Christmas pictures taken today just Me, Joe & our "children".  They should be pretty good (if she crops outta them haha). I can't wait to see them.  I should be getting them in a week or sooner!

*It's Just A Family Tradition*

Family traditions... we all have them.  Some are awesome, some are pointless, some are just plain embarrassing.  Since Thanksgiving is only a day away I'm going to talk a little bit about our family tradition we have during the holidays.  It's not something Joe and I just sat down and told each other about.  We learned about each others traditions the hard way.  For instance...  I LOVE that on the weekend after the week of Thanksgiving my family will go up to our cabin, stay a few days, and go CHRISTMAS TREE HUNTING!  Well, that turned out all fine and dandy (I'll talk about our tree and our new tradtion in a sec).  It was the 3 weeks until Christmas when I realized WHY my parents in law have a fake tree... Joseph is allergic... of course, I mean he just has to be allergic to one of my FAVORITE parts of Christmas.  Poor thing, we still are getting a live tree :)  Am I mean to say he'll live and deal with it for a couple weeks out of the year?  But, no he was the one who said I could have my tree.  It just has to be down and out of the house the day after Christmas, none of this leaving-it-up-until-New-Years business :)

Now that we are married we have decided to trade off holidays between his family and mine in correspondence with our other siblings.  This year it is Thanksgiving at the ranch and Christmas up with my family (minus my sister and her family in England... sorry I just have to give her a hard time every chance I get.  Love you sis).  Holidays at the ranch are an exciting deal... 2 grandparents, 7 couples, (minus TOM, little butt is staying in Nashville for the holidays where it's "warm") 21 children under the age of 15 (most are under the age of 8) WOW.  That house if FULL.  Never a dull moment though and I absolutely LOVE it. 

Thanksgiving
Some of the Thanksgiving traditions I've kept going from my family are:

- Lemon & Kentucky Derby Pies

- Turkey/stuffing leftover sandwiches

Joeys:

- Tri-tip roast along with the turkey

So, wow, I just realized we don't have many Thanksgiving traditions.  Which makes me sad because I was telling my mom that around here it's almost like Thanksgiving is skipped completely.  They go strait from Halloween to Christmas.  Hardly any decorations, nothing!  It's like a big dinner than WHAM the Christmas tree goes up and Christmas music comes on.  I need to get some more thanksgiving decorations, and when we have kids I think I'll do a little Thanksgiving lesson of sorts and find a good Thanksgiving book to read each year.  I do love that our Thanksgivings have always been about families.  When I say my prayers that has always been the very 1st think I say I am Thankful for... My family.  I'm so thankful that Joey is part of my family now.  My family is everything to me.

Christmas

Some of the Thanksgiving traditions I've kept going from my family are:

- Christmas Tree hunting week after Thanksgiving

- Decorating the tree for family night that next Monday while we play Christmas music and break out the egg nog with a little bit of nutmeg sprinkled on top

- Christmas Eve buffet (my mom makes the most amazing finger foods EVER)

- Christmas Eve reading of The Night Before Christmas

- Leaving out veggies and cookies with milk for Santa (This is for the kids when we have some).  Then after they are asleep "Santa" eats some of the cookies, drinks some of the milk, the reindeer nibbles on the veggies and Santa leaves a thank you note and some of his beard(cotton) gets stuck around the living room
- Joe & I each got a Christmas ornament on our honeymoon at Lake Tahoe just like my parents did on theirs in Hawaii.  Every Christmas once the tree is al decorated my parents each take a turn hanging their special ornament up high on the tree.  So we are going to carry on that tradition with our honeymoon ornaments as well!

- Joey aka: Santa leaves me a little "naughty clothing" in the toe of my stocking. I don't know what my parents were thinking making us kids think Santa was leaving Mommy lingerie but hey, it was cute... Not to mention Joey LOVED this idea :)

Joey's:

(This is horrible but I can't think right now of what some of his family's Christmas traditions are.  I'll remember and come back and finish this ASAP, right now I'm just gonna go ahead and post this!)



Here are the traditions we have started (or are going to start) for our little family:

Thanksgiving

- Find a GREAT Thanksgiving book to read each year

- I'm going to learn to make a different stuffing each year (Stuffing is my FAV part)

- Possibly make a "Thankful Countdown to Thanksgiving" chart where each day for the month of Nov. we'll write something down we are thankful for

Christmas

- (We started this last year) Do something weird for something like decorations, Christmas pictures or something that has to do with Christmas.  Like last year we cut down a funky tree that was like two trees in one.  We decorated one side all western for Joe and the other all hot pink for mine. (I'll post a picture when I can, I'm not currently on my computer).  Other ideas we have come up with is Putting some Halloween decor up on our front door, taking a whole bunch of Christmas lights and deer and just throwing them up on the roof and plugging them in, laying deer on the ground with red lights around them and have a Santa with a rifle in his hands haha... Those are all big IF's but you get the idea, something "weird and fun"

- Buying PJ's for each other and opening them Christmas eve

- (When we have kids) Make "Reindeer Food" out of Quaker oats and glitter. Then sprinkle it out in the yard so "the reindeer can find our house" and have a "magic snack"

I love the holidays and getting to spend time with the family.  Joe & I had a great year last year spending our first holidays together and I can't wait to spend them with him for the rest of forever and I absolutely can't wait to add some little ones to the mix and make the holidays extra special for them!

HAVE A VERY THANKFUL & HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

*Quotes That Stick*

I got this quote from McCall & Eric's blog.  I thought it was very appropriate for these pictures that I absolutely LOVE!

"It is the soldier, not the poet, who gives us freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the reporter, who gives us the freedom of press.

It is the soldier not the campus organizer who gives us the freedom to protest.

It is the soldier who serves beneath the flag, who salutes the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who gives the demonstrator the right to burn the flag."

(Make sure to click on all of these and really look at them!)

 

 

 

 

Link me some of your favorite hero pictures like these so I can smile some more :)

*My Grandpa*

My grandpa is slipping away slowly, he's been removed from his IV's recently and is making his way to heaven :( All three of his sons got to say goodbye to him and now he's ready to go.  I just wanted to share my last and most cherished memory of him...

September 2008

Grandpa and my step Grandma Lora were visiting from Kentucky.  I came over from Rigby where I was living to spend a few days at my parents house while they were there.  We were in the backyard just finishing up a BBQ and I had the feeling I should ask for a blessing because at the time I was trying to decide what to do with my life... Should I keep working three jobs? Live in Rigby? Rexburg? Finish school? Get back into BYU-I? Go to Utah State?  I had recently been accepted to Utah State University but didn't receive any scholarships, and because I was from Idaho I would have to pay out of state tuition (3x's the in state tuition aka: A LOT of money).  It just didn't look like it was going to work out.

When my dad was about to give me the blessing I had a feeling that I should ask my Grandpa to give me one instead.  And I'm so glad I did because...  In his blessing he told me I should go to Logan and attend USU, that this to him felt like the best decision and that it would all work out.  From that moment on I knew I needed to go to Logan.  That probably was the last time I get to see my Grandpa here on earth.

Those following months I moved back home to Rexburg, put my 2 weeks notice in at all three of my jobs, spent the holidays with my family, reluctantly ended my relationship with my boyfriend I had been dating for 2 years, toured USU, registered for classes, found an apartment in Logan, bought school supplies and new sheets for a twin sized bed, said goodbye to my friends and moved the end of December to a whole new state.  1 week later I sat next to a cute boy in my class that I realized was also in my class before that one, but I also noticed he would always sit next to the same girl and figured they were dating(which didn't stop me from flirting, I know I'm horrible).  1 month later I asked that boy for a ride to an extra credit activity across town.  Found out he was actually single, they were just co-workers.  Next day he asked me on a date.  Less than 2 months later I got engaged to that boy.  6 months later I married that boy.  My Grandpa was too sick for him and Lora to make it to our wedding, which made me cry.  But I made sure to thank him from the bottom of my heart for insisting I go to Logan.  I know I was prompted to ask for a blessing from him for a reason and I know exactly what that reason was.

I love you Grandpa and I can't wait for you to meet my wonderful husband someday in Heaven.

*Daddy*Grandpa*Uncle Chance*Uncle Rupert*

*Our Acting Skills Aren't That Great*

I ending up buying the game Guesstures the other day because I'm trying to stock up my game collection (my family always had a ton of board games, card games, any kind of games to play).  Joey isn't the biggest fan of playing games but sometimes he doesn't mind it... It just has to be semi short, you loose him during long games haha.

So the other night we were just sitting on the bed and I decide to pull Guesstures out and tell him we are gonna play it.  He didn't think I was serious for a second.  But, yeah I was.  After a little while we decided not to play the timed version because, well, we were horrible at it and sometimes didn't get a single action before the card slipped down.  Even not being timed we ended up skipping on some of them haha.

It was so fun though to act things out for each other.  Just being the two of us we weren't shy or holding back at all so there were some pretty hilarious actions going on.  For instance, rolling on the floor, torturing the cat by making her do certain um unnatural movements for a cat, throwing things, priceless facial expressions, blasts of exasperation, inappropriate hand gestures (haha not really).  It was interesting to see the things each other would come up with when trying to act out a word, or vise versa, the things we would come up with while trying to guess the word.  The hardest word for me to guess was "Sign Language", say what? Yeah, I think it was a mixture of Joey butchering it and me just not thinking Sigh Language would be one of the words! Plus, some of the "sign language" signs he was doing were pretty hilarious.  Joey's hardest word to get was "Below", I swear he said everything but haha.

I love Joey, and I love that we can have so much fun doing such a simple thing as playing Guesstures.  I also love that we can be as impulsive as we are with each other and just go along with something the other one just thought of doing on the spot.  We are good at doing that... see my post saying a similar thing here.

Here is a list of some other games I want to be the owner of eventually (games are EXPENSIVE):

- Ticket To Ride (Europe & America)

- Ticket To Ride Accessories and Extensions

- Clue

- Apples To Apples

- Bang!

- Battleship

- Curses

- Cranium 

- The Farming Game

- Taboo or Don't Say It (pretty much the same)

- Guess Who

- Scattergories

- Settlers Of Catan

- Sorry!

- Twister

- Dominos

*Piano Fingers*

This is really random but, I am learning how to play this song(Do You by Yiruma) on the piano so I looked it up on UTube and that video came up.  As I was watching it I realized what was so weird about it... The hands in it look exactly like my sister Molly's hands.  I used to watch and watch and watch her play the piano all the time when I was smaller.  She has such pretty hands.  She and I were born with "piano playing" fingers.  I wish I would have stuck to playing the piano better after highschool, I still could have used some lessons but most importantly LOTS of practice.  I used to be pretty good.... not so much anymore.  My goal was to learn how to play church hymns better.  I could never play very well with people singing along and hymns were the worst.  My "passion" I guess you could say were classical numbers or pretty theme songs with no words from movies or plays.  I used to love going to my piano teachers (I had one in VA and one in Mtn. Home) homes and learning new songs and "passing off" songs I had been assigned to perfect.  I want to be able to teach my own kids how to play if they would like!

I've decided to practice as much as possible now.  When ever or where ever I can.  My parents have a piano, my sis-in-law Nikki has one and they don't live too far away, the church has plenty and maybe I will invest in one someday.  So I have no excuse not to play.  Plus, I love playing.  It's relaxing and very rewarding.  And best of all... It will help me stay busy while Joey is gone all day :)

Here (River Flows In You by Yiruma) is the other song I am learning which I LOVE! It's written by the same person as the song above.  It was supposed to be Edward's Lullaby for Bella in the Twlight movies, but ended up not being.  Listen to it, it's beautiful. (Here is the actual version of "Do You" by Yiruma that I am learning, the other version is changed some.  Yiruma is playing in both these... Love him!)

*My Other Boyfriend*

Remember this post where I'm completely obsessed with Bon Jovi.  Well get this... They are gonna be in Salt Lake and I probably am not gonna go :(  I doubt Joey will go with me and I don't know anyone who would wanna go with me and even though I love them enough to go by myself... yeah, don't think I'll be doing that. Plus, all the good tickets are are most likey taken... So I have from now till after the concert in march to whine about it...

*Bipolar Fall*

So holy cow for a bipolar fall.

A couple chilly days in October, then warm days, then a couple hot days, then some cloudy days, sunny again, cloudy again, sunny again, then rain, rain, and more rain, then another t-shirt wearing couple of days, no snow (thank goodness), but more rain, and more, then pow a small snow flurry, but right back to beautiful sunny couple of days, middle of November, one rain day, and finally an ice filled and very frozen typical northern Utah fall day.  Where have you been?  You should go back... 

Wow, talk about headache from weather changes.  Weather must be a girl.

*Blast From The Past: Idaho Run*

I'm going to start doing a new kind of post and I'm going to call it "Blast From The Past".  It'll just be things from that past that I either just randomly remember or something I want to record so I don't forget. I have the worst memory so these might not be the best posts and I probably won't remember dates maybe only roughly.  But, since this blog is basically my journal I am going to try and write every detail I remember of something and at least try to make it half-way interesting.

Here is my first one.

Idaho Run

It was probably the 3rd week in February 2009, maybe Joe & I's 4th or 5th "date".  After about 15 minutes of driving around, listening to music and trying to decide what to do Joey just randomly starts driving North from Logan headed to Idaho.  I didn't ask why, just sat back and enjoyed being with him.  On the way we played 20 questions(not literally but it seemed like it) and got to know each other a lot more.  I remember picking songs from his Ipod that he really liked and he'd say something like "Ahhh, you're just trying to get me to marry you huh?" (Yes, I'm such a girl for remembering that haha).  About 20 minutes later he pulls over to the gas station/restaurant in Franklin, ID.  We get out and he tells me we're gonna buy some drinks and scratch tickets! (We had to drive to ID to get the scratch tickets because they don't have them in UT)  We each got a Gatorade and 2 scratch tickets.  I remember the guy working at the store kind of getting a little "frisky" with me and Joey walking over and putting a protective arm around me :)  When Joe got to his second ticket he had me kiss his quarter for him and he actually won $2!  I ended up putting that quarter in my pocket because he told me it was my good luck quarter and to make sure I always kept it for good luck.  I put it on my dresser for weeks and later I decided to put it in my "memory box" that I made with my cousin Amber when we were living together a few years before.  And I still have it!

I was so excited that Joey was so spontaneous, I knew that was the kind of guy I wanted to be with because I knew we would hardly ever be bored.

And p.s. I'm sorry if anyone thinks scratch tickets are bad... Yes, if you spend your whole paycheck on them and are constantly buying them it's probably not a good thing.  Or, if you're addicted to gambling or are a recovering addict than you probably shouldn't buy them either.  But, we do neither and are neither so I'm sure we'll be okay :)

Here's the 1st picture Joe & I ever took together a few days after this story.  It's horrible I know but oh well...

*Not Fall Anymore*

It's frigid at the ranch today.

And the sun's even out.

I wore a scarf and gloves for the 1st time this fall.

At least they were cute.

I literally could only stand to be out there for 10 minutes at a time.

And when I was outside I was just standing there shivering.

That's pathetic.

My nose hairs didn't even freeze.

Yes, that happens here.

I've been told it once got -50 degrees here.

Barf.
I think I'll invest in some coveralls.
Even though they make me look like a marshmellow.

I want the warm weather back already.

This is gonna be a long winter.

Long, long winter.

*We Are Not Wii People :)*

Does anyone remember this post?  Well, this was one of my first attempts at the Wii, it was embarrassing beyond belief.  Joey & I aren't big video game fans.  The first and biggest reason is... well... we just aren't good at them.  ESPECIALLY the darn Wii.  I don't know what it is, our hand/brain coordination is off, or maybe we're just plain retarded.  The reason why I'm writing about this is because last week was the last straw, I had to write about this after what happened.  But, before I tell you about that let me just list a few other Wii-gone-wrongs.

1) We can't play Wii Family Feud.  Well, we can play, just don't even think about handing us the controller... unless you wanna loose... really badly... pretty much because we run out of time before we can even think of moving the controller to the right spot on the screen.  All I can say is wow, yup, we're retarded.
2)  Wii fitness+Joey+Jency=Amusement for the rest of forever (Watch video below)
3) I guess you can play competition games against us on the Wii if you need a self esteem boost.  Because we always loose!

The story that, I guess isn't too funny on here I just realized because it was more of a "you had to be there" moment, but I'll tell it anyways....

We were invited over to our friends Kevin & Dany's to eat some AMAZING food Kev cooked (he's going to culinary arts school), hang out and play some Wii.  It starts out pretty innocently, a game of Wii bowling (before I was even allowed to touch the controller I had to put the little loop around my wrist so I didn't accidently chuck the thing into flat screen TV), some Wii golfing, THEN Wii baseball time... Ahem... Kevin bats.  All is good.  Dany goes.  All is good.  Joey's turn... hits Kevin in the arm so hard everyone can hear it.  Kevin scoots over and pretty much flinches every time Joey holds the controller from then on.  He ends up almost whacking me across the head, almost chucks the controller into the TV, and provides us with entertainment the rest of the night.  HAHA, it was hilarious, way to go Joe.  That's my husband.

Here's some funny video's from our night playing Wii Fit w/ Eric & McCall...

(Joey "Flying")

(Eric "Flying")

Needless to say, we will stick to outdoor activities and things where we won't be humiliating ourselves by doing :)

*A Day In The Grass*

Yesterday I took Dolly & Bo to the shop Joey has been welding at.  It was so peaceful outside so I laid a blanket down and I relaxed while Joey worked and the babes played like crazy.  I can't believe the beautiful weather we've been having... I'm just waiting dreading the snow and frigid cold!

She absolutely LOVES to run. She couldn't be happier than if you just let her run around and do her own thing

He's our cuddle bug. Loves to be right by me all the time

*Missin' The Alone Time*

Today I just want to spend time with my husband and my family. I wish it were Christmas right now because that's the only day for the rest of the year I think this will happen.  Even then it won't be my whole family :(  I also just want ONE DAY, one whole uneventful, lazy day to spend with Joey. Tonight is supposed to be Family Night (FHE), but he's going to be working LATE.

  My advice for people about to get married is ENJOY your honeymoon! Make sure if you are working, to get approved for a WHOLE week off. Not just a weekend or a few days. In fact, make it a whole week and then some. Trust me. You will hardly EVER have that kind of alone time with your loved one again. Pretty soon it will be school, work, quick lunch (if that) work, work, work, laundry, make dinner, eat dinner, maybe work some more, too tired to do anything but watch TV, go to sleep, repeat. It's not always like this but it's close. Those rare occasions where you splurge a bit and maybe rent a nice hotel room, or have a night out on the town are precious. We don't even have children yet and we still struggle to find alone time with each other.

I've been doing this whole planning thing where even if I don't think it will happen I still plan some "alone time" for us. Like going to the corn mazes, or spend some time in Salt Lake, go on a date or stuff like that. Lately though each date plan has been overruled by work, sickness or previous plans. I try not to get too hurt by these plans not turning out how I want them but I can't help it sometimes. I guess I was just really spoiled in our first year of marriage when I got to spend quite a bit of time with him. At least got to have an lunch that wasn't rushed, or most of our evenings together. I miss those days. 

SO boys and girls, don't take them for granted. Don't take one year of your marriage for granted. There is always going to be change. Harder classes (for you college students), new jobs, new family members, more chores, more activities. Enjoy everyday of your marriage and each other's company! I promise it's worth it!