*Tuesday Confessional/Day 10 Of Me: Home/Something You Miss*

Day 10: Something You miss

My mom always has music playing in the living room at their house. She has done that since I can remember. It is always happy, relaxing, comforting music such as the soundtracks from “The Holiday”, “The Parent Trap” (the newer version with Dennis Quaid) and “Sense and Sensibility”. One of the CD’s she has been playing for a long time is Kenny G’s Greatest Hits. If you haven’t heard of him, he is only the best saxophone artist ever. I love his music.

I recently added a bunch of his songs onto my ITunes and tonight I was listening to music and one of his songs came on which is a song that’s on the CD my mom has. I caught myself missing home a lot. And I was thinking about how ironic it is that I was never really a “home body” up until recently. As soon as I turned 18 I was out of the house, years before that I would always be wishing I were 18 so I could move out and “live on my own”, and for a few years after that I would hardly ever go back, I was “too busy” making things work on my own, almost like I was “proving” that I could do it. I spent my days doing what I wanted and not having to check in with anyone or ask permission, moving here and there, working 2-3 jobs, living on Hamburger Helper and Mac & Cheese, going out on week-nights. I was always busy and constantly with someone but, I felt lonely and something was missing. Then 2 years later I moved back home. My Mom became one of my best friends, I couldn’t get enough attention from my Dad, and I was back with people who really did love me, back in a peaceful place where I was safe. I didn’t want to leave, but something still felt like it was missing. So, I left that home I finely had come to cherish. I moved the farthest away I had ever been from home, but somehow, even though it was further away then where I previously had lived, I still felt closer to home then I had ever been before (make sense?). Maybe, it was because I knew I could go back home if I wanted and I realized I really didn’t have to prove anything. I had lived my “trial and error” life and finely found out that kind of life wasn’t necessary, it was now time to live the life I was meant to be living, with the people that were supposed to be a part of that life. Through the next month I went back home frequently, more than I had in a years time when I lived just a town away from there. It almost felt like I was “making up” for the time I had missed being “far away” from home, living on “my own”. Between my travels back and forth from home, school and starting my “new” life I met Joey. I found what was “missing”. I couldn’t wait for him to meet my parents and for him to feel my “renewed” admiration for them; I couldn’t wait to bring him home.

Over the last couple of years he and I have been making our own home. It has been kind of challenging. I had just barely become a part of my parents home again and was now having to make a home somewhere else. I have been taking as many opportunities as I can to go visit my parent’s home, trying to get Joey to spare some time from the ranch to go with me. It’s just so far away, and I miss it and them. I cried during the whole Kenny G song. I finally got something back that I had been needing and had to give some of it away not long after. I know it needed to be done and I know I need to be making my own home. But, it’s just hard. I miss that home right now. I love Joey, but it’s hard for him to understand sometimes I think. I know he spent 2 years down south on a LDS church mission, he missed home like crazy, but he knew he’d be coming back. In a way I can’t go back. I can go back as a visitor but not as a dweller. Therefore, I visit a lot haha. Am I just being a whining brat? Probably. I wish I could go back and stay closer to home for as long as possible but still somehow have everything still turn out the way it has. I know that it impossible on so many levels so now all I can do is blog about how I feel and count my blessings.

I am thankful that I even had that time at home that I had been missing out on. I am thankful my relationships with my parents are so strong now. I am thankful I went through those years alone, as hard and painful as they were, I needed to in order to appreciate what was right in front of me but so far away. I am thankful for my parents, how they always had their doors, arms, and hearts opened towards me even when I wasn’t looking, and for their countless prayers they said and say on my behalf. I am thankful for my husband, for his patience as I try and get used to my new life and new home and try, but sometimes fail at appreciating it, and also for his unconditional love towards me no matter what. I am thankful for my Father in heaven, I know he has a plan for me; I know he loves me and knows what is best for me. I am thankful for my family. I know that home is where the heart is, therefore my parent’s home is, in a way, still my home, but Joey also has my heart so my home is here as well. I am thankful for that.

30 Day Challenge:

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name

Day 3: Your first love

Day 4: Your parents

Day 5: A song to match your mood

Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 7: Favorite movies

Day 8: A place you've traveled to

Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend

Day 10: Something you miss 

Day 11: Something you're afraid of

Day 12: Your last 5 Facebook statues

Day 13: Favorite tv shows

Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?

Day 15: Scripture verse

Day 16: Current Project

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

Day 18: Favorite place(s) to eat

Day 19: Goals

Day 20: Nicknames

Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?

Day 22: What's in your purse?

Day 23: A letter to someone

Day 24: Something you've learned

Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

Day 26: Dream vacation

Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in

Day 28: Something that stresses you out

Day 29: 3 Wishes

Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

*Tuesday Confessional: Baby Hungry*

Okay, first off let me make myself clear by saying I AM NOT PREGNANT.... Nevertheless, that DOES NOT keep me from buying something (on sale... a good sale mind you) that I LOVE... that just so happens to be for a little person :) :)

I admit I am baby hungry, I am not denying that. But, we're not planning on adding a family member for a little while. With that said, here are only a few of the... {cough} many {cough}... baby things I have acquired over a few months {blush} :)

The first picture has:
1) The freakin' cutest baby boy Wrangler onesie!!! (on sale)
2) Another adorable baby boy plaid shirt & thermal red onesie (really really cheap)
3) A Hurley cute cute little girl shirt (on sale)
4) A Roxy(My favorite brand for little girls, they have the cutest, and well made stuff) really fluffy sweatshirt (on sale)

Second picture is of:
1) A Wrangler tote that I am going to use as a diaper bag. I love it. It's exactly what I wanted as a diaper bag so I had to get it (I've been looking for something to use as a diaper bag someday... yes, I know, I'm ridiculous)
2) A small Ariat duffel bag that was on an awesome sale that I will use as a baby travel bag :)
3) Okay.... aren't these shoes ADORABLE?!?! The tennis-shoes were super cheap and to die for and the Zebra print slippers with the pink bow I saw in a stand at a craft fair forever ago and I wanted them so bad, I ended up finding them again in a baby boutique my mom took me to (yeah, she's grand-baby hungry apparently haha!) and bought them on the spot!
4) A mega-soft small pillow I found at that same boutique that I'm going to use in either a boy or a girl's crib

So, there you go. That's my confession of being completely baby hungry :) :)

*Tuesday Confessional: Addicted*

I'm addicted... "To what?" you ask... these

Ever since Joey bought this flavor in sunflower seeds on our honeymoon trip I have been obsessed.  He is so sick of them because this is the only flavor I will buy them in.  I will literally go through one of these "Big Bags" in 2 days or less. I love chewing on them everywhere, especially on long car rides(they keep me from getting car sick... so far).

If you haven't had them, try them :)

P.s. Try not to chew them in public because whether you have a "spit bottle" to spit the shells in or you're just spitting them on the ground... it is rather grodie :)

*Tuesday Confessional:Randomness*

- It takes me about an hour or a little longer to fall asleep at night
- I've been sick a lot lately and when I'm sick it takes me even longer to fall asleep, sometimes 4-5 hours or more
- Because it would take me that long to get to sleep I would make up for it by sleeping in until noon or longer
- I'm no longer as sick... But, I'm still sleeping until noon :)
- So, for the past couple days I have been sleeping literally between 10-12 hours
- Wow
- Hey, I love my sleep
- When I don't get 7 hours or more of sleep just ONE TIME I end up getting these horrid bags under my eyes that last for weeks
- They look pretty bad
 - Joey is such a heavy sleeper and while he's in that deep slumber he: Sleep talks, twitches, rolls, hits, steals my pillow and occasionally snores
- I've learned to live with being woken up multiple times throughout the night
- He thinks I steal the covers
- Okay, so I do... but only because he steals them first
- This morning I woke up early to go feed with Joey because we are at the ranch today
- I didn't end up going because I was so out of it
- My schedule is really off now jeez
- I have an interview today (wish me luck)
- If I get this job I will have to be in town a little before 8 am each morning
- I really need to get back to my regular sleeping schedule
- Dang it

*Tuesday Confessional: Back-Ups*

Have you ever had a great shirt or pair of pants that you loved so much and after a few years it was either so stained or thread bare that you had to get rid of it... And in the back of your head you are wishing you would have bought TWO of that same shirt just in case this exact moment ever came around??

Well, I have.  I am not a good clothes shopper, so when I find something I like it is a big deal.  I never could justify buying TWO of the same thing though.  I have, on a couple occasions, bought the same shirt but in a different color. 

Today, however; I was thinking of my most FAVORITE pair of sunglasses I have ever owned (Besides my $200 Calvin Klein's.  But, after I lost them at the lake I will NEVER even consider spending that much on... well, anything again haha).  So my SECOND favorite pair of sunglasses I have ever owned are my (above) American Eagle "Audrey Hepburn" sunglasses.  Funny story: Joe & I were in AE last month and I was trying on some sunglasses.  I have the hardest time finding a pair I like, I tried these ones on and asked the AE employee what he thought of them and he said, "hmmmm, they are so Audrey Hepburn.  Love them".  So... I bought them for $15.  And I "Love them" too!

Long story short: I hate looking for sunglasses that I'll love and actually wear so after having these for a month and with my track record with sunglasses (loosing them, breaking them, scratching them, chucking them in an unexpected rage) I decided to go back and see if they had another pair so I could have a mmm... back-up pair.  And they did, on sale, $6.  Yes! 

So here's me saying, I'm not ashamed to admit that if I love something I will now go back and buy a "back-up" pair.  Don't judge.

*Tuesday Confessional: Simple Pleasures*

My Simple Pleasures:

• Tuna Sandwiches From Subway
• Tanning
• Roasting Starburst
• Manicures And Pedicures
• Kisses On The Nose From The One I Love
• Sleeping In
• Laughing So Hard I Start To Cry
• Singing In The Shower (Yes It's Horrible)
• Finding Change To Go Get Some Candy
• My Boots
• Checking On The Calves
• Studying New And Exciting Things
• The Sun
• Going To The Fair (State, County, Craft, Farmers)
• Fall Time Colors
• Jamba Juice
• Christi And I Dancing In Our Underwear To 80's Music
• Puppy ears
• Lunch dates
• A Great Book Series
• Peanut butter, Honey & Banana Toast
• A Nap Just Before Lunch
• A DVR So I Can Record My Shows And Watch Them Whenever I Want
• Bonfires
• Stormy Slow Mornings
• A Sweet Text From My Love
• Bike Rides
• Laying Down While Taking A Shower (I Call Them Shower-Baths Haha)
• Old Western Art
• Canning
• Watching Thunderstorms 
• Christmas Tree "Hunting"
• My Parents House
• Blogging (Of Course)
• Corn Mazes, Hot Cocoa, Scarves and Gloves All In One Night
• Sunglasses
• Riding My Horse Bareback
• Aloe Vera Fluffy Socks
• Clean Sheets
• House Plants... Lots Of Them
• Cuddling With The Cat When She Purrs
• Cooling Eye Masks
• A Spotless House
• Being So Happy I Almost Can't Stand It

These are just a few of my favorite simple pleasures.  What are yours?

 Record them on your blog then send me the link to your blog so I can read your Simple Pleasures!

*Tuesday Confessional: Sicky*

I'd like to give a big shout out to my little niece Ryleigh, from whom I've caught a pretty bad cold :)  She couldn't help it though, I catch EVERY kind of illness if I so much as look at someone who is sick.  I have had every kind of silly sickness from strep throat and sinus infections to mono and scarlet fever.  I should have had my tonsils removed when my dr. told me that they were pretty much useless because of how damaged they were after a bad case of tonsillitis.  I remember numerous times where I would lay on my bed with my mouth wide open, tongue hanging out and the ceiling fan going so the moving air would dry my mouth out and make it so I wouldn't have to swallow because my throat hurt too much.  Pretty sad, I know.  

Okay, so here's where the "confession" part comes in.  I almost, kind of, maybe, just a little bit... like it... when I am sick...  BECAUSE, Joey actually fusses over me!  He'll cuddle me, get me all the drinks I want, and think of fun things we can do inside.  I might of milked it a little too much last night, but I really felt poopy haha.  I love my hubby and I hate being sick... But, I love it how he takes care of me when I am!

*Tuesday Confessional: I Want A Garden*

I wish I could have a garden with.... Corn, Green Beans, Peas, Carrots, Squash, Cucumbers, Onions, Peppers, Tomatoes, Pumpkins, Cauliflower, Broccoli and Potatoes. But, unfortunately you can't grow ANYTHING in Randolph, unless you have a greenhouse. I went greenhouse shopping the other day and guess how much a greenhouse is that you can barely walk in and doesn't hold very much?? $1000.00.... and that's cheap. Yeah, not gonna happen, unless.... Joey thinks he can build me one.... I hope so. I love fresh vegetables and I LOVE to can them. Maybe, someday :)

*Tuesday Confessional: Yeah...*

I want a baby....... enough said :)

*Tuesday Confessional: New Idea*

I'm going to start doing a "Tuesday Confessional" post every tuesday which is an inspiration from Lauren Albert's blog where she writes a "Friday Confessional" and I LOVE it! It makes a blog more interesting I think. I am also going to try and do a "Thankful Thursday" post every thursday.

So here is my 1st Tuesday Confession: A FAN. It's not a serious confession or anything haha but I have to admit that I CANNOT sleep without a fan. It all started quite a few years ago when my daddy was out of town on a business trip and I was sick and I went into my parent's room early in the morning and crawled into bed with my mom and slept for a few hours. They ALWAYS have a fan on when they sleep and I have to say that I cannot remember a time when I slept better then that morning. From then on I HAD to have a fan going while I slept.

It makes me laugh that I am writing this because I had to "confess" this to Joey before I married him. He's so good though he never complained even though I knew he couldn't stand it at first but now I can tell that he would prefer noise than no noise. Diane got me a nice new fan as a christmas present because she knew I loved their tall fan they have in their room downstairs. So that's it... I literally can't fall asleep without a fan going or some kind of repetitive sound